The Wisdom of Forgiveness

Originally Posted: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2008

This post was rattling through my head as I struggled to sleep last night. Forgiveness will be one of the three nuggets of wisdom that I include in my personal contribution to the book.

Since Don Henley of The Eagles is a songwriter of some note and one of my personal favorites, I'll start with the closing lyric from "The Heart of the Matter":

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby, cause' life goes on
If you keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, you don't love me anymore...

Allowing other people's treatment or opinion of you to "eat you up inside" is one of the worst things you can allow to happen to you, your self-esteem, and your vibe. The key consideration is that they are notyou, and cannot understand why you have made the decisions they have witnessed. Many times you will not fully understand your own quick decisions until deeply reflecting on your motivation at that point in time, which will often be tucked deep inside your subconscious mind. If you discover that you indeed have wronged someone, you of course need to apologize. If you have made a mistake that impacts only you, correct it and go on with your life. Should you discover that you were indeed true to your core beliefs, then forgive them for their opinion and get back in the game!

There will also be times when others will wrong you. You can try to determine their motivations, but that is largely wasted time (Whoa, another Eagles song reference!), since they won't even fully understand their actions. You need to find forgiveness in your heart, and live with what they give you!

I have tried to live my life by finding the "good" in people, connecting with that side, and working with what was available. People have variable degrees of "good," which can be defined as that which connects with you. There are very few people out there with whom you will find a total connection, and you will find that they often become life-long friends or even spouses. Embrace them!!! They will enrich your life, give you moments to treasure, and provide the safety net we need as we move out of our comfort zones. As John Maxwell said "If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone." And you never want to stop growing!!!

Until next time!
Julius